BFN

I had IUI #5 on Thursday, July 8th and began testing this morning with HPTs. As you can see from the title of this post, I got a BFN. Disappointment really isn't a good word to describe what I'm going through.

I'd really tried to mentally prepare myself for the fact that it might not work the first time after my m/c but I think this just brings up old pain from my miscarriage. I can't help but think that if my baby hadn't died I wouldn't be going through this disappointment.

I'm tired of spending the money, taking the drugs, crying all the time because the hormones have me acting like a total basket case... plus Mark and I have been having some problems so that hasn't helped.

I realize that it could be a little early to test so I'll test again tomorrow but I don't expect to receive a different result since it was so blatantly NEGATIVE... not even a HINT of a line there.

It's one of those days where I just want to stuff my face and watch tv and sleep all day. I feel depressed and exhausted. I've decided to make an appointment with my counselor just to nip these depressed feelings in the bud. Especially since I'm not on my meds.

It will be a little while before I can try again because I just don't have the money and I'm paying for this all by myself... so I've considered getting back on the meds until I can afford more fertility treatments.

One thing I AM happy about is that I have 8 followers now!! That means a lot to me. Thank you for reading and please please please, comment or message me. I love to hear from my readers.

Stay tuned... I'll report my HPT result tomorrow!

Much love to you all :)