Decisions...

I got a week ahead of myself!! I called my RE for the results of the recurrent miscarriage panel and I still have another week to go. :(  Blahhhh!!!

I'm anxious and ready to get this show on the road.

As for Mark and I, we are back together again. I know, yo-yo relationship. We're still not living together but we're considering it. He called me Saturday and told me how stupid he was and that he'd made a huge mistake and wants to be with me forever. I do not have the support of my mother, which is difficult for me because I happen to be addicted to her approval (unhealthy, I know), but I have to make this decision for myself.  Here's the problem. I already made the decision to give it another go with him. I want to be able to work things out. BUT... sometimes I feel unsure about whether or not I'm doing the right thing. Sometimes it feels REALLY right and other times it feels all wrong.

Not sure how it happened but I've lost all my moxy!! I'm afraid all the time. Afraid to end it because I'm afraid I'll regret it and miss him and that it'll be a huge mistake. Also, afraid to jump back in because I'm afraid he'll hurt me again.  Ugh!!!

Again, I need to take my mind off of my relationship with Mark (wait to see how things unfold) and place all my focus on becoming a mommy. I have an appointment with my therapist this evening so I'm hoping he can help me to straighten things out in this jumbled head of mine.

Wish me luck!!!